40 used to be OLD when did I get OLD

It happened one day. When I wasn't looking and wasn't expecting it. One day I am looking in the mirror thinking not so bad for almost 40 and a new grandma. Then out of the clear blue my hip was hurting to the point I was limping, the belly seemed as if the number 40 triggered its muffin type button. Hair was turning fast and furiously gray, not that I am opposed to gray but I am not ready to rock it as well as Heloise yet. The uh hmmm upper lady bits are well not exactly upper anymore. Now they are more like lets use the word hovering. Hovering sounds better than dropping like a egg from a three story building.

I am noticing that when I am out I will notice young women more. There youth and the ability they have to still to achieve anything they want. How I use to be them not too too long ago. Now the way I have been feeling since turning 40 I feel like it was a lifetime ago. I begin to wonder if it is in fact biological what I am feeling or simple vanity to still look a certain way. I put a pair of jeans on the other day and thought to myself a 40 year old women should not be wearing these. I told my husband this and he looked at me as if I had ketchup on my upper lip. "What do you mean by that " he says. At that moment I realized as a male he just don't get me and my 40 year old self. Uh oh I I am going to be in this life changing decade alone I think.

There are things I do enjoy about it. I love that I am true to me. I know what I believe in, what I will and positively will not stand for. I can stand up for myself and mean it. I enjoy having grown kids Well mostly, son is 20 and has moved back home and I have a 16 year old beautiful girl who needs 24 hour care. She has Cerebral Palsy. (My goodness looking at those two sentences makes me believe I have two more HUB subjects.) All in all I would have to say all my worries about this number 40 is more in my own head then anything. I remember crying my eyes out when I turned 30 thinking oh my goodness this is it. Well I made it through. In my 30's I made some incredible life changing decisions. In a good way. I left and moved out of my hometown to be free of an abusive man, my kids and I felt the magic of living on Cape Cod for awhile and in my late 30's moved back to my birth place to be close to my mother and well at 36 I met, fell in love with and married the most amazing man. So my 30's turned out to be not so bad.

I guess it's all in perspective how I choose to look at this aging process. I can embrace it and take it by the horns and remember every decade so far has had some very amazing happenings. And with those amazing happenings, I can't tell you what clothes I was wearing, whether or not my hair was even done or make up on. So in essence I believe I have just answered my own 40 year old woman mystery or shall we say the moral of the story....... You wont remember the shoes you wore or if your hair and make up were perfect when you were out saving the world.

Well the ice pack on hip is now warm, heating pad on back is starting to well frankly leave burn marks so I will close for now. In these paragraphs I have realized WOW I do have a ton of experiences good and bad to share. Take care and enjoy life, with maybe just a little bit of lipstick even a super woman should look cute.