My Un-Official Guide for Living in an apartment complex

 So, I was thinking if I wrote a BLOG about how to PROPERLY behave if you live in an apartment , maybe ONE person would read it and take note. If I could find a way for my "neighbors" to find this and read it. I SO WOULD!!!!!So here is what I think should be the rules of living in an apartment complex.

1.) If you are on the top floor over someone, KEEP THAT IN MIND. Don't walk like you have a two ton ELEPHANT on your back. Large people should NOT  have top floor apartments.

2.)If you have kids, keep them in check, Teach them there polite indoor and outdoor , you live in apartment complex with other people, VOICES.

3.) If YOU think your own kids are loud and obnoxious ODDS are WE WILL TOO....so don't send them outside to yell and scream and be little unruly BRATS in front of my PLACE.

4.) If YOU feel the need to open up your windows and get some fresh air, ODDS are I am doing the same thing. With that said, I frankly don't want to HEAR your telephone conversation that sounds like you are president of the PROFANE MOUTH TRUCK DRIVER CLUB.

5.) With that said above, If you feel the need to FOR ONCE to discipline your kids, Don't scream profane things at them while your windows are open. I don't need to hear your parenting style OR the childs name and their crime. If I haven't asked you personally what your kids names are that means I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU OR THEM. When I can name them from your screaming at them with open windows, you might wanna get a Air Purifier to get that fresh air and keep YOUR windows SHUT!

6.)I understand sometimes that you may drop something, but if its at least 20 times A DAY you may want to think about applying some velcro to your hands and ALL items in your house.

7.) Before you talk about your other neighbors YOU may want to rethink that when your windows are wide OPEN. I can hear you.

8.)If you drop something like garbage out of your car or it falls out of a garbage bag, bend your HAPPY LARGE ASS over and pick it up. I don't want to look at your garbage that you are to lazy to pick up.

9.)Remember WE PAY the rent so your intrusive guests can walk a ways to get to your door and NOT park in front of other peoples DOORS. I am sure you are not that important enough that they have to get to you THAT QUICKLY.

10.)If you have small children, OPT out all together of an upstairs apartment. DO EVERYONE a favor.

11.)When your child jumps off the couch, the bed, kitchen table, kitchen counter whatever it may be, REMEMBER IT SOUNDS LIKE A TRUCK IS COMING THROUGH THE ROOF.You may find this amusing BUT IS SO NOT. I can assure you IT IS NOT!

12.)If you smoke, don't toss your butts in my yard, I, unlike you, care about how my front entrance way looks.

13.)I am sure you ENJOY "YOUR" kind of music, I DON'T. When you pull in the driveway of the complex .. TURN IT OFF!!! OR DOWN!!! I am not interested in hearing it AT ALL.This also includes sitting in your car and playing it for no reason.

14.)Teach YOUR GUESTS some of these things. It really isn't a SHOCK that the people who live in an apartment who are a nuisance would hang around people of the same caliber and class level.

15.)If you have a DOG leash them UP. I don't care how much you think he wont run away, I don't want YOUR dog running up to me intimidatingly. I promise YOU I will knee it in the CHEST.

16.)Pick up your DOGS POOP if you have one you should know this all goes with owning a dog. If you lived in your own house would you NEVER pick up the POOP???? Probably, never mind.

17.)Because some of us pay different rents i.e SOME PAY A LOT MORE and the government and child support from all the different baby's daddy's PAY MOST of yours, I pay FULL RENT and take pride and work HARD to keep my accommodations nice.

18.)Your upstairs apartment is not inside jogging, sprint, aerobic gym for your children. I think running 53 times in a three hour period BACK AND FORTH across my ROOF is NOT NECCESSARY!

19.)When my BLINDS are open at night, IT IS NOT a free PEEP SHOW for you. I should not have to close my blinds at 6 pm so I feel like I am not in a FISHBOWL. I would be so embarrassed to make eye contact with someone sitting in the privacy of their own home and I was so nosey I was looking in.

20.)And FINALLY READ the rules and regulations for your COMPLEX. ALL OF IT!! Know what is allowed and isnt. If you have trouble reading take it to your leasing office and I am sure they would be HAPPY to help you out!